I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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