He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Watching her eat just hurts me
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
