I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
