It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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