would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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