He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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