I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
