id be glad to
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
