i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
