Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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