Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
