R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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