my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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