Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
