I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
