I need help removing her.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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