so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So many bounce houses so little time
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My dick has a subreddit
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
