I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
