oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
