whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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