the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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