I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
