i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
