I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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