i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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