He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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