3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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