Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
