I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
