apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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