I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
