I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
