Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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