Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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