I'm laying in your front yard are you home
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
