Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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