Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You're my little dorito
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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