I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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