I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
