that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
