i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
