you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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