I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
