I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
