you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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