So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
