i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
