my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
and she was petting her beer can
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
