Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
