We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
