The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
