I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
