You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You need Xanax blowdarts
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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