absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It's Friday. Sex?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
pop tarts are not kleenex
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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